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What to do if a child masturbates? - Part 3

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Child masturbation sometimes starts at a very young age. So, Strong et al. in the book “Human Sexuality: The Width of the Range in Modern America”, it is noted that sometimes very young girls rhythmically, sometimes with force, move their bodies, clearly experiencing an orgasm. Italian gynecologists Giorgio (Giorgi G) and Marco Siccardi (Marco Siccardi) using ultrasound observed a female fetus masturbating to orgasm.

Such masturbation is not related to sexual desire. Masturbation during this period is mainly an adaptive-compensatory mechanism for obtaining positive emotions and feelings during stress and other psychophysical and emotional uncomfortable conditions.

The main psychological problems of child masturbation

The attitude towards child sexuality and child masturbation as a particular manifestation of it has changed over the past five thousand years from complete indifference to severe suppression. Until the New Age, in the Middle Ages and even in the Renaissance, this problem was looked at rather condescendingly: it was believed that the child was too small to control himself.

The “war against masturbation," as the French philosopher, historian of culture and science Michel Foucault called this phenomenon, or the "masturbation inquisition" (German researcher Ludger Lutkehaus), reached its zenith in the late XVIII - early XIX centuries.

In 1741, a Swiss doctor S.-A. raised an anti-masturbation wave Tissot, who, having published the essay "Masturbation, or Treatise on the Diseases of Masturbation," stated that masturbation dries the body, deprives it of vital fluids, and causes a malnutrition disease similar to tuberculosis. Excessive sexual arousal during masturbation leads to neurosis and disorders of the nervous system. "Masturbation ..." reprinted dozens of times and translated into the main European languages.

The American doctor B. Rush noted that masturbation causes visual impairment, epilepsy, memory loss, and tuberculosis. It was argued that the onanist is easily recognizable by his painful and repulsive appearance. Such findings were triggered by observations of patients in psychiatric hospitals, who often masturbated in front of staff. However, obsessive masturbation was the result of mental and emotional loneliness, state of mind, the impossibility of other ways of satisfaction.

In the mid-19th century, some entrepreneurs began to manufacture and sell masturbation products (corn flakes, squared crackers). Bestselling books about the terrible diseases awaiting onanists have been published. Signs of masturbation were acne, shyness, baldness, nail biting, smoking, enuresis (bedwetting), etc. Parents were advised to bandage their genitals to children, put them in cells, bind their hands to them, and the boys should be circumcised without anesthesia. Intensive exercises, sleeping on a hard wooden bed, and a diet (less meat and more cereals) also suggested as preventive (preventive) remedies.

Some inventors have patented devices to stop masturbation (the trellised case, in which the penis and scrotum of the boy were contained by springs, included an audible signal in case of an erection). For this purpose, the children were wrapped up in a cold, damp sheet for the night to “cool” their desire; devices were mounted near the cribs connected to the bells in the parents' bedroom, signaling if any movements started in the child’s bed. Doctors suggested leeches on the genital area to suck blood, eliminate hyperemia that caused sexual desire, cauterization of the genital tissues by electric shock or hot iron to kill nerves, reduce sensitivity and lust.

The testimonies of the young men have survived, who, unable to cope with what seemed to them to be addictive, committed suicide.

Russian doctors attributed masturbation to the manifestation of childhood, called “childhood sin” and believed that only masturbation in adults can be regarded as a possible pathology. In the work and personal life of Silver Age writers (A. M. Remizov, F. Sologub, A. I. Tinyakov, etc.), the emphasis is changing - masturbation is aesthetized and legitimized. A particularly important role in increasing its cultural status was played by the Russian writer, publicist and philosopher V.V. Rozanov. In his opinion, the onanist is not a miserable pervert, but a chosen, spiritual, spiritualistic person: “Among his comrades, the onanist is like an Arabian horse among the bityugs. The whole Decameron is the fruit of Boccaccio's masturbation and is written for masturbation readers. All French painting is a gallery of female bodies in various poses, the fruit of male masturbation. ” (V.V. Rozanov. Fleeting.)

At the beginning of the 20th century, doctors began to argue that masturbation could not be the cause of disease, even began to recommend that women masturbate to relieve hysteria, and men - instead of visiting prostitutes.

The main psychological problems of child masturbation edit |How to determine that the child is an onanist?

This question is actually not as simple as it seems. On the one hand, all male teenagers masturbate. On the other hand, we need to identify the moment when this natural hobby can develop into a rigid obsessive habit, which, in turn, can become a heavy addiction with all the consequences.

The craze for adolescents with digital gadgets - computers, laptops, tablets, smartphones, will significantly complicate this task for parents. So it would seem easier? Do not buy your child a laptop or console - and he will play in the yard and grow up healthy. But this is not so. Depriving him of the joys usual for all other children, we simply make him an outcast. In the courtyard now, no one really plays anyway. We live in the digital age, whether we want it or not. And we need to work with this given.

Determining that a teenager has become "addicted" to porn and excessive masturbation is quite difficult. Since the symptoms are very similar with the dependence on the computer and computer games, or generally the symptoms of an initial addiction. Moreover, gambling and pornomania often harmoniously complement and reinforce each other. That is, a conditional teenager can calmly play a network game for 6 hours, and then, when all the parents fall asleep, just 5 hours violently masturbate. What do you think, how much will he have left in the morning to study in particular, and life in the real world as a whole?

Moreover, the symptoms can be similar to real addiction: chronic fatigue, a pale face, circles under the eyes from lack of sleep, loss of real interest in everything except the subject of its dependence.

Nevertheless, it is possible to reveal the essence of the problem. Any stay in the network in fact leaves traces. And attentive parents can, analyzing the traffic, notice the abundance of porn content. The tendency of the child to solitude, isolation, reduction in energy can also be striking. That is, in fact, you can observe how your child becomes not a man, a leader and a fighter in life, but a nerd in every sense of the word.

What still threatens the development of the habit of masturbating a lot for a teenager? Everything is very simple. During this period, the formation of personality. All of us in childhood and adolescence receive childhood psychological injuries. And we all live with them. We all go through the formation in collectives from an early age - kindergarten, school, institute, army, work. We constantly struggle for our existence and adapt to current conditions. And we can choose different models of behavior - either to take the best places and live with our heads held high or to be afraid of everything, constantly give in and get used to the fact that our place, if not at the “bucket”, is somewhere in the farthest and dusty corner. There the nerd is much more comfortable in life.

And to fight and develop you need ENERGY. And it’s precisely this energy that an avid onanist from an early age gets used to flush the toilet.

We have all seen such examples. We suggest parents just think about it. And decide who they want to see their son - docile and comfortable (including the parents themselves) quiet nerd, or a man with a fighting spirit and strong character.

And we are still not talking about the accumulating damage to health from addictive masturbation (we will probably talk about this in the following articles).

How not to aggravate the situation?

It is at the same time a simple and rather delicate moment. As with any other problem that has psychological roots, the worst thing you can do is follow the path of stupid, tough and unmotivated prohibitions. For example, to take away all the gadgets, to force them to sit at their lessons all their free time, or even bump into some religious topic: start talking about “sin”, “fornication”, etc. With modern youth, this is unlikely to be effective. By hanging bans here and there, you will achieve only one thing - push the child away from you, and at the same time create for him the effect of the “forbidden fruit”, which is even more attractive precisely because of its prohibition.

Naturally, you should not give everything to the child. If he does not study at all, but only plays games (openly), and secretly masturbates, this is not normal. And of course, it makes sense to somehow monitor Internet traffic in order to at least protect the child from the most vigorous and perverse topics. But all these issues are rather technical and do not solve the problem fundamentally.

It must be understood that any addiction grows well where there is idleness, meaninglessness and dullness of life. And this must be fought first. Help your son live a bright memorable youth in the real world, and then he will be grateful to you all his life!

How to help a child?

One fairly well-known modern psychotherapist formulated a curious thought. Its essence is as follows: “Parents generally do not care about everything that happens to the child, except for three things. The main thing is that he: once - studied, two - studied well, three - was not a drug addict. Point!". Not everyone of course does, but there is a sound grain in it.

Parents really often have many problems of their own - households, cars, loans, mortgages, hobbies, etc. And most importantly, they need to earn money to support their family. There is no escape from this. But, you must admit, it is not very logical to have a child, invest all his soul and money in him, and then at the decisive moment miss the fairly obvious key stages of his development. Stages that can extremely negatively affect his whole future life.

So. You notice that your child becomes an onanist. Perhaps in combination with gambling. How can we help?

There are several fairly effective methods to remedy the situation. Even in the Soviet textbooks on education, it was written that in this situation it is extremely important to captivate the child with something. Something useful and developing. First of all, this, of course, is a sport. There are several important points here at once - getting used to doing sports from a youth, a person and brings up the will, and trains the body, and develops the body. In addition, with serious sports, the young man will have a MUCH less physical strength for masturbation. And she will be banal to him less interesting. A healthy and strong young man will be much more fun to live in reality, and not in the dusty corner of the monitor with a member in his hand. It is highly desirable that a man have martial arts with this sport. No matter what - boxing, wrestling, karate, etc. Here you need to try, hear the child, track what is closer to him. But also do not allow to relax and give up classes at the first difficulties and failures. Team sports are also a good option.

A young man who is strong and able to stand up for himself will not allow himself to be broken morally, he will feel MUCH more confident in life and will say thank you a hundred times later that you brought him to the section and did not let him quit.

Communication skills

The second very important and much more delicate moment in the victory over dart is to help the teenager acquire the right communication skills with the opposite sex. We understand that everything here is very difficult and subtle. Often, the family itself shows the child such a monstrous example of the relationship between a man and a woman that they cannot objectively teach anything normal. Here, after all, the role of the father is extremely important. And the father can be either an alcoholic or a complete henpecked with an inadequate, but very self-confident bitch-wife. Or just a very weak and insecure person. A lot of options. But a child from an early age copies his masculine part of behavior precisely from his father.

Even more monstrous may be the story of the son of a single mother. Such ladies often quite consciously raise themselves a "soft toy" from their son. The main thing is that he "was not the same goat as his father."

But we still try to distract from the obvious clinical cases (no matter how many there are) and give some simple tips to readers.

First and foremost, do not remove yourself from your son. Although we all understand that this is the easiest way. Try to be in contact with him, no matter how trite it sounds. And from some point, do not avoid discussing with him the most “slippery” topics, including relations between the sexes. Why should you give this crucial moment of its development to the “street” and the “bestial” and immature teenage collective? Only in the early stages can you instill in your child the right and healthy values. No need to give his communication with the girls any unhealthy and mocking pathos (“Oh look - your bride went!”) Nor, moreover, put some idiotic prohibitions: “Not a foot at the disco! You have to study today! You have a control tomorrow! ”

Try to explain to the teenager that yes, he is important and needs to learn to communicate normally with girls. Without the demonstrative neglect typical of adolescents (“Natasha, a whore got in the car with the elders!”), But also without this atomic henpecking, which both teachers and mother love to instill in young men. And which (let's be honest with ourselves) blooms so magnificent in our society.

It is clear that no one needs stories with early pregnancies and at some point it will be necessary to talk about contraception. But for some reason, very many parents reduce the entire sex education of a young man to condoms only, which seems to us not very true.

Support the young man when you see him going on dates with girls. Let him know that this is good and right. Indeed, you see, it is much sadder if his right hand and his tablet / smartphone remain his friends for life. If he has not had a girlfriend for a long time, try to figure out what the trouble is. And help than you can. Give a little more money for courtship if this is the case, or help dress "not like a sucker." And if the case is already running, then it may already make sense to look for a competent psychologist or even a sexologist so as not to miss the problem at its beginning.

The main thing is not to step back from this problem, and your son will have a much greater chance of growing up a healthy and strong man.

# 1 Carlito

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  • User 938

    Most parents are frivolous about the fact that their children masturbate. But I personally believe that this vice can and must be fought. Masturbation not only distracts the child from really useful and necessary activities, for example, from school, but also causes an unhealthy interest in sex, which can be used by insidious pedophiles.

    I found the recommendations of the American conservatives on how to deal with masturbation in children and I want to share with you. I certainly do not like America, especially for their foreign policy, but the fight against immorality is at a higher level than ours.These recommendations (I hope they come in handy):

    We hope you never have to face the tragedy of discovering that your child is masturbating. Masturbation is widespread among today's youth. The first step in solving a problem is to acknowledge its existence. Here are some signs that your child is masturbating.

    1. Does your child have acne? Masturbation leads to increased production of hormones, which causes acne. Very few teenagers who do not masturbate have acne.

    2. Is your child depressed? If the child is closed, unhappy, has withdrawn into himself, then the probable cause is chronic read further masturbation.

    3. Does your child lock his room? It is harmful for a teenager to desire privacy. Probably at this time he is engaged in masturbation!

    4. Does a teenager listen to rock and roll? If a teenager rebelled against God so much that he began to listen to devilish music, then this is probably enough to start masturbating.

    5. Are there any traces of sperm on your boys' bedding and underwear? They could get there in only one way! Collect your boys twice a day for family prayer and underwear testing!

    6. Does the teenager have liberal political views? The weakening of the mind caused by masturbation can lead to the appearance of leftist views.

    7. Does the child wear fashionable clothes and hairstyles? If a child cannot resist peer pressure and changes its appearance, then he probably cannot resist masturbation.

    8. Does the teenager look guilty, does he deny that he masturbates? Very few teenagers openly admit to masturbation.

    9. Does your child use abbreviations and change the spelling of words in electronic communication? This can be caused by dementia due to chronic masturbation. Such a letter is observed only in cases of advanced dementia due to masturbation. If the child writes so, then it is probably too late to help him. He will have to be placed in a psychiatric institution.

    10. Have you caught your child masturbating? If you entered the child’s room without knocking and he holds an erect penis in his hand, then he probably masturbated.


    Prevention and treatment of masturbation. If your child masturbates, then these steps will help solve the problem, if not, then prevent it.

    1. Remove the door from the child’s room. The possibility of solitude leads to masturbation.

    2. Watch your family use your bathroom. This will not only prevent masturbation, but also prepare your child for work in large companies that install toilet / bathroom surveillance systems.

    3. Eliminate the TV. Nothing useful is broadcast on television. Everyone should read the Bible or work, not watch idiotic shows.

    4. Monitor what your child is reading. Watch what he brings into the house. Do not allow anything even slightly exciting. Get up early in the morning, look through the newspapers and cut out your underwear advertisement. Burn it before your child wakes up.

    5. Watch what music your child listens to. It is unlikely that there will be any music suitable for him, since all music, whether rock, country or church music (even if it is considered "Christian") is designed to arouse sexual desire and call the demons of hell directly into your home! Almost all of your child’s music CDs, tapes, and MP3s must be destroyed, especially if they belong to pornographic rap artists such as Garth Brooks, Britney Spears

    6. Use corporal punishment. Pity the whips and you ruin the baby. Although it has been declared illegal by socialists in many countries, good flogging is the best medicine for a rebellious child.

    7. Buy and use free-selling anti-masturbation devices. President Bush announced one of his goals is to finance private Christian companies to create anti-masturbation devices for girls.

    8. Understand your child’s language. Modern teens have a lot of terms for masturbation. You should be familiar with them. Do not use them near your children. If you should talk about masturbation with your children, use the term "self-abuse".

    9. Test your children for masturbation by scientific means. The same liberals who said that we should not build a missile defense system scoffed when I said that scientists are working on an aerosol that will make signs of masturbation visible, but here it is! Checkmate scientifically detects a protein enzyme produced by the male prostate gland and detects traces of sperm on clothes, sheets, keyboards, etc. It does not seem to reveal masturbation in girls (my scientific consultants assure me that girls do not have a prostate gland, although The Bible says the opposite), but he will detect the sexual activity of your daughters by noticing traces of sperm on her panties, hair, etc. As an additional measure, you can buy a microscope and a centrifuge that will allow you to examine the urine in Sheha son for Sin of Onan. Immediate and complete response to the slightest decrease in sperm count

    10. Make your daughters grow as long as possible nails. Many Christian parents measure the length of their daughters' nails and give them pocket money in proportion to their total length. Long nails interfere not only with female masturbation, but also with lesbian activities. They also allow you to carry out a smell test for those of you who want to monitor your daughters' sexual activities.

    11. Wear boxing gloves in the arms of your children before going to bed. Boxing gloves are difficult to remove without assistance. If you do this, you will be able to sleep peacefully, knowing that your children do not touch themselves in a sinful way.

    Related topics

    Most likely I will not be able to forget this for the rest of my life ((

    I remember I somehow found my parents when they had sex, I was 10 years old. I started to learn the current about sex from classmates, and somehow my mother had a birthday, I woke up in the morning I wanted to go to please her with a gift, I look at their room is closed, I thought they’re sleeping asleep and decided to make a surprise. Since childhood I walked very quietly, like walking like everyone else, but still when I go to someone they always wonder how it was that I could approach them, and that day I also opened the door quietly like that , and quietly entered. And here dad dad on mom and come on. At that moment tetanus grabbed me, I stood in a stupor for about 5 seconds, and then it appeared and disappeared. And how many years have passed, I still remember all this as yesterday, and how I try to forget it doesn’t work out. Yeah, then it was a shock))))

    and you saw daddy's dick entering her vagina?

    I had, I dr.ochila and dad went into the room, it was very embarrassing.
    and since somehow I did my MCH ***** and his friends saw, I almost died of shame

    And I noticed my daughter and son, I don’t see anything wrong with that

    And why do this so that someone could accidentally see? Someone was caught walking a little, for example, so that you could see right behind this thing? No, because we endure and go to the toilet. With anonism, you also do it, do it in places of solitude, and not where it comes to pass (in bed, in the bathroom with an open door, etc.), we do not relieve ourselves - where we sat there and did, it will be simply disrespect to others. And with masturbation, until a person gets to the right place and waits for the right circumstances, he might want it 10 times) The main thing is self-discipline)

    Moderator, I draw your attention to the fact that the text contains:

    Forum: love

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